I hate that question… hate it! Thankfully, no one had the nerve to ask me during the 2 years we were trying to get pregnant with our first child. However, I do know that it has been asked and continues to be asked, and it’s absurd.
Now that we have adopted and brought Reid home, I think it’s an even more fallible statement. There is no “JUST” in adoption. It is a gut wrenching, costly, unpredictable, long, and scary process. Our process from start to finish was over 2 years long. We have friends who passed the 2 yr. mark months ago and are still waiting for their precious girl. The wait to hold your child in your arms seems like an eternity.
Then, once that wait is over, you bring your child home and you wait again… you wait for them to love you. It’s not an instant connection like a child you give birth to. They don’t know your voice or your smell. They stiffen at your touch or they scream when you speak to them. You give them every ounce of love you have and sometimes they still resist you. However, you keep loving, waiting, and hoping for that longed for moment to come and when it does it’s bliss. Pure bliss.
The long wait is over… He looks up at you with a huge grin and melts in your arms… or at bedtime he sings YOU his bedtime songs and tells you to close your eyes. And while there are still incredibly hard days, you know he loves you. You know that he was meant for your family, and you have a hard time remembering your family without him in it. He’s yours!
There is no JUST in adoption. However, as hard as adoption is, it is also beautiful, joy filled, rewarding, and most certainly worth every bit of the wait!
Adoption has been a tremendous blessing in our family. We did not end up adopting because of infertility. The Lord blessed us with 3 biological children before we felt God saying it was time to adopt. However, adoption is something God placed on my heart when I was a young girl. It is something that Ryan and I knew we were called to do. We were just waiting on the Lord’s perfect timing. If you are struggling with infertility or have started to feel the Lord leading you to adopt, I would most certainly love to talk to you about adoption. If you have a friend who is struggling with infertility, PLEASE do not (as well meaning as you may be) ask them “Why don’t you JUST adopt?”. There is an amazing book called “Adopted for Life” by Russell Moore. If you are a Christian, read it! If you have never had any interest in adoption, read it! If you are interested in adoption, read it! If you haven’t picked up on it yet, in my opinion, it’s a must read for every Believer.